Pre-writing Persuasive Speech






Soobin Bae
Ms. Jacob
English 11F
Persuasive Speech: Rough Draft

Imagine a person walking with their dog in Central Park on one fine sunny day. The person cheerfully jogs along with their dog when suddenly their dog decides to litter in the field of grass. The person has no tissue or plastic bag to clear the litter and decides to just leave. What happens to this person? They are fined $500. Just like the person at the park, athletes at Korea International School are punished severely if they are late for a class. It is most definite that the athlete should face consequences for being tardy, however, is it really necessary to prevent them from playing on that day’s match. Even worse, if the athlete was late for school on Friday, they are forbidden from participating in Friday’s match, as well as Saturday’s match. Athletes should be able to participate in sports matches and be given other disciplines for tardiness.

First of all, does lateness correlate with participating in sporting events? Exactly. Lateness does not correlate with participating in sports matches. Academic life and extracurricular are two separate aspects of a student’s life. Lateness to class affects the student’s academic life rather than their extracurricular life. Thus, it is only logical to penalize the student with a lunch detention or any another academic related punishments for tardiness. Skipping practice may be a suitable reason for preventing a student from participating in matches, but not tardiness.

Second, not being able to participate in sports matches is too severe of a punishment for being dilatory. Lunch detentions can happen several times without influencing the student’s academic life. However, a match can only be played once, therefore it can influence the player’s future performance and their eligibility to play in matches. After all, if a player does not participate in eighty-five percent of the matches, they are immediately dismissed from the team. According to the Code of Hammurabi, it is only fair to compensate “an eye for an eye.” The rule of prohibiting a student from playing in sports matches due to their lateness for class is just like compensating a leg for an ear. Lunch detention used to be the consequence for tardiness. What happened? “One should not change horses in the middle of a stream; therefore, one should not change generals in the middle of a battle.” In other words, it is far more reasonable to keep lunch detention as a punishment for tardiness, rather than deviate from the original and effective punishment.

Lastly, Participating in sports events is a way of representing KIS in a positive sense. If a team has missing players, then that is equivalent to forfeiting a match. Say for example a student is late for class on Friday. They are not able to participate in the match held that day and the match held on Saturday. The school is basically forfeiting, which is not a favorable way of representing KIS.

Though it may seem reasonable to punish a student severely to prevent them from further violating school rules, interfering with a student’s life that is separate from their academic life is not practical. Students should be given a different punishment for tardiness and should be able to participate in sports matches, regardless of the fact that the student was late for class. Using lunch detentions as a punishment for tardiness is more feasible, not to mention more logical.



Final Draft


Soobin Bae
Ms. Jacob
English 11F
September 22, 2009
A Leg for an Ear
Imagine a person walking with their dog in Central Park on one fine sunny day. The person cheerfully jogs along with their dog when suddenly their dog decides to litter in the field of grass. The person has no tissue or plastic bag to clear the litter and decides to just leave. What happens to this person? They are fined $500. How would this person feel? Utterly distraught. Just like the person at the park, athletes at Korea International School are punished unfairly if they are late for a class. It is most definite that the athlete should face consequences for being tardy, however, is it really necessary to prevent them from playing on that day’s match? Even worse, if the athlete was late for school on Friday, they are forbidden from participating in Friday’s match, as well as Saturday’s match. Athletes should be able to participate in sports matches and be given other disciplines for tardiness.

First of all, Lateness does not correlate with participating in sports matches. Academic life and extracurricular life are two separate aspects of a student’s life. For instance, suppose a friend is extremely talented at volleyball, but struggles in academics. The friend happens to be late for class on a match day, and is therefore not allowed to play at the volleyball match. The friend’s lateness to class does not jeopardize the volleyball team, but rather affects the friend’s academic life. The friend should be punished as a student, not an athlete. This will enable them to lead a separate successful athletic life, and at the same time improve themselves as a student, rather than face complications in both their academic and extracurricular life. Lateness to class affects the student’s academic life rather than their extracurricular life. Thus, it is only logical to penalize students with a lunch detention or any another academic related punishments for tardiness. Skipping practice may be a suitable reason for preventing a student from participating in matches, but not school tardiness.

Second, not being able to participate in sports matches is too severe of a punishment for being dilatory. Lunch detentions can happen several times without influencing the student’s academic life. However, a match can only be played once, therefore it can influence the player’s future performance and their eligibility to play in matches. After all, if a player does not participate in eighty-five percent of the matches, they are immediately dismissed from the team. According to the Code of Hammurabi, it is only fair to compensate “an eye for an eye.” The rule of prohibiting a student from playing in sports matches due to their lateness for class is just like compensating a leg for an ear. Lunch detention used to be the consequence for tardiness. What happened? It is far more reasonable to keep lunch detention as a punishment for tardiness, rather than deviate from the original and effective punishment.

Lastly, Participating in sports events is a way of representing KIS in a positive sense. If a team has missing players, then that is equivalent to forfeiting a match. Say for example a KIS tennis athlete is late for class on Friday, and they happen to be the captain and number one singles player for the tennis team. Not only is the team sacrificing their opportunity to gain victory for KIS, but also the tennis team will be negatively impacted by the absence of their captain. How will the team be presented during the line-up period, a time when the captain is supposed to proudly introduce the team to the other school? The school is basically forfeiting if they are missing a valuable player, which is not a favorable way of representing KIS.

Though it may seem reasonable to punish a student severely to prevent them from further violating school rules, interfering with a student’s life that is separate from their academic life is not practical. Students should be given a different punishment for tardiness and should be able to participate in sports matches, regardless of the fact that the student was late for class. Why not restore the old way of punishing tardy students, giving lunch detentions? Using lunch detentions as a punishment for tardiness is more feasible, not to mention more logical.